The Art of Paraphrasing in Coaching: Enhancing Active Listening and Trust Building
- Dr. Dawn
- 6 days ago
- 4 min read
Paraphrasing is a powerful tool in coaching that goes beyond simply repeating what a client says. It shows deep understanding, helps clarify thoughts, and builds trust between coach and client. When done well, paraphrasing strengthens communication and supports meaningful progress. This post explores what paraphrasing means in coaching, how it differs from reflecting and summarizing, and how it connects to key coaching skills. You will also find practical examples and tips to use paraphrasing effectively without sounding mechanical or condescending.
What Paraphrasing Means in Coaching
Paraphrasing involves restating a client’s message in your own words while keeping the original meaning intact. It shows that you are actively listening and trying to understand the client’s perspective. Unlike simply echoing their words, paraphrasing adds value by clarifying and sometimes reorganizing the information shared.
In coaching, paraphrasing helps clients feel heard and validated. It encourages them to explore their thoughts more deeply and can reveal new insights. When a coach paraphrases, they demonstrate respect for the client’s experience and create a safe space for open dialogue.
How Paraphrasing Differs from Reflecting and Summarizing
Though paraphrasing, reflecting, and summarizing all involve restating client information, they serve different purposes:
Paraphrasing
Restates the client’s message in different words to confirm understanding and encourage further exploration. It focuses on the content and meaning of what was said.
Reflecting
Focuses on the client’s feelings or emotions behind the words. It often uses phrases like “It sounds like you feel…” to acknowledge emotional states.
Summarizing
Condenses a more extended conversation or series of points into a brief overview. It helps to wrap up or transition between topics.
Example:
Client: “I’m frustrated because my team isn’t meeting deadlines, and I feel like I’m the only one who cares.”
Paraphrase: “You’re saying the deadlines aren’t being met, and it feels like you’re carrying the responsibility alone.”
Reflect: “It sounds like you’re feeling overwhelmed and maybe a bit isolated.”
Summarize: “So far, we’ve talked about your team’s missed deadlines and how that’s affecting your sense of responsibility.”
Paraphrasing in a Coaching Session: Clear Examples
Here are some examples of paraphrasing during coaching conversations:
Example 1
Client: “I want to improve my work-life balance, but I’m not sure where to start.”
Coach: “You’re looking for ways to create more balance between your job and personal life, but you’re uncertain about the first steps.”
Example 2
Client: “I keep procrastinating on my project because I’m afraid it won’t be good enough.”
Coach: “You notice that fear of not meeting your own standards is causing you to delay starting your project.”
Example 3
Client: “I feel stuck in my career and don’t see a clear path forward.”
Coach: “You’re experiencing a sense of being stuck and want to find clarity about your next career move.”
These paraphrases show the coach’s understanding and invite the client to expand or correct the interpretation.
Linking Paraphrasing to ICF Core Coaching Competencies
The International Coaching Federation (ICF) highlights several core competencies that effective coaches develop. Paraphrasing supports these competencies, especially:
Active Listening
Paraphrasing is a key part of active listening. It shows the coach is fully present, processing what the client says, and confirming understanding. This practice encourages clients to share more openly.
Establishing Trust and Intimacy with the Client
When coaches paraphrase accurately and respectfully, clients feel heard and valued. This builds trust and creates a safe environment for honest conversations.
Communicating Effectively
Paraphrasing helps clarify messages and prevents misunderstandings. It ensures both coach and client are aligned in their communication.
By mastering paraphrasing, coaches strengthen these competencies and improve the overall coaching relationship.
Best Practices for Effective Paraphrasing
To paraphrase well in coaching, keep these tips in mind:
Use Your Own Words
Avoid repeating the client’s exact phrases. Instead, reframe their message so you show you understand the meaning.
Be Concise and Clear
Keep paraphrases brief and focused on the core message. Overly long paraphrases can confuse or frustrate clients.
Avoid Parroting
Simply repeating words without adding understanding can feel mechanical and may frustrate clients.
Stay Neutral and Respectful
Use a warm, supportive tone, not condescending or judgmental.
Check for Accuracy
After paraphrasing, invite the client to confirm or correct your understanding. For example, “Did I get that right?”
Focus on Meaning, Not Just Words
Capture the essence of what the client is saying, including implied feelings or concerns when appropriate.
Use Paraphrasing to Encourage Exploration
Paraphrasing can open new avenues for discussion by highlighting aspects the client may not have fully considered.
Why Avoid Parroting or Sounding Condescending
Parroting, or repeating the client’s words verbatim, can make the coach seem disengaged or robotic. It does not add value and may leave the client feeling misunderstood or undervalued.
Similarly, a condescending tone can damage trust and shut down open communication. Paraphrasing should always come from a place of genuine curiosity and respect.
Final Thoughts on Paraphrasing in Coaching
Paraphrasing is more than a communication technique; it is a bridge that connects coach and client. It deepens understanding, builds trust, and supports clients in exploring their thoughts and feelings. By distinguishing paraphrasing from reflecting and summarizing, coaches can use each tool effectively to guide conversations.
Dr. Dawn C. Davis-Reid, PCC, is the CEO and Founder of Reid Ready Life Coaching, LLC. With 15+ years of coaching and training experience and 3,800+ coaching hours, she supports emerging leaders, coaches, and organizations through evidence-based leadership development, coach education, and culturally responsive coaching. She is an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC), an Extended DISC Assessor, and an Agile Coach.
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