Fear of Failure vs. Fear of Missing Out: Your Guide to Breaking Through and Betting on Yourself
- Dr. Dawn
- Oct 20
- 6 min read
You're standing at a crossroads. One path feels safe—familiar, predictable, comfortable. The other path? It's terrifying. It demands courage, vulnerability, and the willingness to fail spectacularly.
Welcome to the internal battle between two of the most paralyzing fears that keep creative professionals, leaders, and dreamers stuck: Fear of Failure (FOF) and Fear of Missing Out (FOMO).
These fears don't just whisper doubts. They create stagnation. They fuel procrastination. They erode your self-worth until you're convinced you're not good enough, not ready, not worthy of the life you actually want.
But here's what I've learned through my own journey—through tears, terrifying decisions, and countless moments of doubt: facing these fears is the only way through them.
What Are FOF and FOMO? (And How They're Stealing Your Life)
Fear of Failure (FOF) is the voice that says, "What if you try and you're not good enough? What if everyone sees you fail? What if you lose everything?"
It's the perfectionist's prison. It keeps you from starting because starting means risking. It keeps you from shipping because shipping means being seen. It keeps you small because small feels safe.
Fear of Missing Out (FOMO) is the voice that says, "What if you make the wrong choice? What if there's a better opportunity you're passing up? What if everyone else is succeeding while you're left behind?"
It's the comparison trap on steroids. It keeps you chasing every shiny opportunity. It keeps you saying yes to things that drain you. It keeps you looking outward instead of inward.
Together, they create a vicious cycle:
FOF keeps you from taking action → FOMO makes you feel like you're falling behind → FOF paralyzes you again
You procrastinate because starting feels risky → You watch others move forward → Your self-worth takes a hit
You stay stuck, convincing yourself it's safer to wait for the "perfect moment" that never comes
The result? Stagnation. Regret. A life lived smaller than it deserves to be.
My Story: Facing the Fears That Could Have Broken Me
I didn't always have the courage to face these fears. I had to learn it the hard way.
Fear of moving to Thailand. I was terrified. What if I couldn't adapt? What if I was making a huge mistake leaving everything familiar behind? How would my family get along with out me? But I did it anyway—scared, shaking, uncertain. And in that fear, I discovered resilience I didn't know I had.
Fear of starting school again. A second master's degree at this stage of my life? The voice of FOF was loud: "You're too old. You already did this---why do it again. What if you fail?" But I enrolled anyway. And I learned that growth doesn't have an expiration date.
Fear of getting older and becoming middle age. The FOMO was real—the pressure to have "made it" by a certain age, the comparison to others who seemed further along. Fear of losing my youth and vitality. But I chose to redefine what success looks like for me, not for the world's timeline.
Fear of missing out on a high six-figure salary. This one cut deep. When I walked away from employment because I refused to bow to a toxic boss, I wasn't just leaving a paycheck—I was leaving security. The FOMO screamed: "You're throwing away your future! Everyone else is climbing the corporate ladder!" But I chose my peace and my integrity instead.
And yes, I was terrified. I failed. I cried. I questioned everything.
But here's what those tears taught me: My hardships didn't make me weak—they made me strong. My failures didn't define me—they refined me. My willingness to face the fear, to do the hard thing, to get back up after falling—that's what built my resilience, my ability to navigate difficulty and the unknown, my capacity to fail and rise again.
I've missed lots of opportunities along the way. But it's all worth it because I've grown, lived, loved, and genuinely enjoyed the journey.
5 Tips to Overcome FOF and FOMO (And Reclaim Your Power)
1. Define Your "Real Thing"—Then Protect It Fiercely
FOF and FOMO thrive in ambiguity. When you don't know what you actually want, every opportunity feels urgent, and every risk feels catastrophic.
Your move: Get crystal clear on your one big goal—the thing that matters most to you right now. Not what your parents want. Not what looks good on Instagram. Not what pays the most. What do *you* actually want?
Once you know, you can say no to everything else. And saying no to one thing so you can say yes to your real thing? That's not missing out. That's winning.
2. Redefine Failure as Data, Not Disaster
FOF loses its power when you stop treating failure like a death sentence and start treating it like information.
Your move: Before you take action, decide in advance: "If this doesn't work, what will I learn?" Separate the outcome from your worth. A failed project doesn't make you a failure. A rejection doesn't mean you're not good enough. It means you tried, you learned, and now you're smarter.
Failure isn't to be feared—it's to be embraced and learned from. Every successful person you admire has failed more times than you've probably tried.
3. Practice "Scared and Doing It Anyway"
You don't need to feel confident to take action. You need to be willing to feel scared and do it anyway.
Your move: Stop waiting for the fear to disappear. It won't. Instead, acknowledge it: "I'm terrified. And I'm doing this anyway." That's courage. That's the real thing. Every time you do something scared, you're building proof that you can handle hard things.
4. Audit Your Information Diet
FOMO is fed by constant comparison. You can't feel like you're missing out if you're not constantly seeing what everyone else is doing.
Your move: Unfollow, mute, or unsubscribe from accounts that trigger comparison and self-doubt. Curate your feed intentionally. Follow people who inspire you without making you feel less-than. Limit doomscrolling. Your mental health (and your focus) will thank you.
5. Build Your "Failure Resume"
This one's powerful. Create a list of every time you've faced a fear, failed, and kept going. Every rejection you've survived. Every hard decision you've made. Every time you chose discomfort over comfort.
Your move: Write it down. Review it when FOF and FOMO start whispering their lies. You have a track record of resilience. You have proof that you can navigate the unknown. You have evidence that you're stronger than your fears.
The Bottom Line: You're Worthy of the Risk
FOF and FOMO will always be there. They're part of being human, part of caring about your growth, part of wanting more. But they don't get to run your life. You do.
And the life you want—the one that requires you to be scared, to fail, to miss out on some things so you can gain the real thing—that life is worth it. I promise.
Ready to Bet on Yourself?
Facing FOF and FOMO alone is hard. But you don't have to do it alone.
I'm offering a special introductory coaching session called Single Action—60 minutes for just $60 (that's $1 per minute). We'll dive deep into a specific creative goal or mindset block that's holding you back, explore what rejection has taught you, and map out how to move forward with confidence and resilience.
You'll walk away with clarity, a concrete plan, and proof that this approach works for you.
Regular price? $195. That's a $135 savings—a real investment in yourself and your creative career. And this is the first step in you betting on you!
Use discount code: MINDSET
Ready to Know You're Worth More? Level Up.
If you're ready to go deeper—to really transform how you show up in this industry, to build unshakeable confidence, and to create from a place of self-worth—then it's time to level up.
I'm offering my Coaching for Success Package—8 sessions of deep, transformative coaching designed specifically for creative professionals navigating rejection, self-doubt, and the pressure of this industry. Regular price? $1,500. Your investment? Just $750—that's a 50% savings.
Over eight sessions, we'll work on building resilience, separating your worth from your outcomes, developing a creative vision that's authentically yours, and stepping into your power as an artist. You'll have the support, the tools, and the mindset shifts you need to not just survive in this industry—but to thrive.
Use discount code: LEVELUP
Intentionally Yours,
Dr. Dawn C. Reid, PCC, CEO & Founder of Reid Ready®
Personal & Professional Growth Architect
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