The Importance of External Curiosity in Coaching
- Dr. Dawn
- Mar 21
- 4 min read
Updated: 5 days ago
Are you truly curious about your client's experience, or are you filtering it through your own lens? As coaches, our curiosity can be both our greatest asset and our biggest awareness gap. We all have our own values, beliefs, and perspectives. While our intent is to be curious, we can get distracted by what we think and want for the client.
In this article, I explore why shifting from internal to external curiosity isn't just beneficial – it's essential for creating transformational coaching partnerships.
The Curiosity Paradox in Coaching
Picture this: Your client, the only woman on her executive team, shares her feelings of isolation and exclusion. Your immediate internal curiosity kicks in, prompting questions like, “How might you be contributing to this situation or feeling?” or “What indicates you are being isolated or excluded?”
Stop! This is where many coaches unknowingly derail the coaching partnership. When coaches frame questions this way, the client may lose trust or shut down.
Why does this happen? An approach rooted in internal curiosity often:
Dismisses the client's lived experience
Imposes the coach's worldview or desires for the client
Creates resistance instead of trust
Misses opportunities for deeper exploration
Understanding Internal vs. External Curiosity
Internal curiosity is about looking inward for self-exploration and personal growth. It involves asking yourself deep, sometimes uncomfortable questions about your motivations, beliefs, and behaviors.
On the other hand, external curiosity focuses on understanding others and the world around you. It's about asking questions, seeking new perspectives, and engaging with different ideas and experiences. Both forms of curiosity are essential in facilitating the coaching process. Coaches must balance internal and external curiosity when formulating coaching questions.
If you are externally curious, your inquiries will spark internal curiosity within your client—that is the sweet spot for you as a coach.
The Power of External Curiosity in Action
Consider two contrasting approaches in a coaching scenario:
Scenario: Client feeling excluded and undervalued in their workplace.
Internal Curiosity (Ineffective):
"What could you do differently to fit in better?"
"Have you considered that maybe you're being too sensitive?"
External Curiosity (Effective):
"How is this experience impacting you?"
"What would feeling truly included look like for you?"
"What support do you need to navigate this situation while staying true to yourself?"
The Sociocultural Responsiveness Approach
Sociocultural responsiveness in coaching acts as a bridge between surface-level coaching and transformational partnership. It helps coaches understand, engage with, and effectively respond to their clients while honoring their unique experiences, values, and perspectives. This approach emphasizes the essence of external curiosity.
To enhance your coaching experience, consider applying Culturally Sensitive Coaching™ (CSC™). I coined this approach, and I incorporate it into my coach training programs. CSC™ intentionally integrates the coachee's sociocultural experiences as an integral part of the coaching process.
This method is designed to help clients reach their full potential, maximize resources, and highlight strengths while honoring their unique cultural and social contexts. It allows the coach to be externally curious, asking questions that evoke internal curiosity and self-awareness in the client.
The Four Pillars of Culturally Sensitive Coaching (CSC)
Conscious Awareness
Recognizing our own biases
Understanding sociocultural impacts
Maintaining cultural humility
Client-Centered Perspective
Honoring the client's narrative
Validating lived experiences
Creating psychological safety
Empathetic Engagement
Building genuine connection
Demonstrating cultural empathy
Fostering trust through understanding
Transformational Partnership
Co-creating culturally appropriate solutions
Empowering authentic expression
Supporting sustainable change
ICF Core Competencies Through a Cultural Lens
Let's examine how key ICF competencies transform when viewed through a culturally responsive lens:
Embodying a Coaching Mindset:
❌ Traditional: "I remain neutral and objective."
✅ Responsive: "I acknowledge and work with awareness of both my own and my client's lived experiences."
Maintaining Presence:
❌ Traditional: "I stay focused on what's being said."
✅ Responsive: "I create space for individual expression and honor the client's way of being."
Active Listening:
❌ Traditional: "I hear the words and reflect them back."
✅ Responsive: "I listen for sociocultural nuances, lived experiences, and the client's unspoken viewpoint."
The Path Forward: Your Coaching Evolution
The difference between good coaching and transformational coaching often lies in the space between internal and external curiosity. When we shift our focus from our own interpretations to our client's lived experiences, we create a powerful container for authentic growth and meaningful change.
Key Takeaways for Your Coaching Practice:
Practice the "context or curiosity pause" – Before asking your next powerful question, pause and check: Is this coming from my worldview or genuine curiosity about my client's experience?
Embrace the "both/and" approach – Acknowledge both the universal human experience and the unique lived-experience context that shapes your client's reality. This dual awareness creates a richer, more nuanced coaching partnership.
Monitor your impact, not just your intent – Regularly assess how your questions and responses land with clients from various backgrounds. Are you creating space for their truth, or subtly imposing your own?
Remember: Sociocultural responsiveness in coaching is the foundation that improves the effectiveness and flexibility of all other coaching competencies. It allows the coach to focus on their external curiosity. When we truly embrace external curiosity, we don't just coach differently; we create a space where every client feels seen, heard, and empowered to reach their fullest potential.
About the Author: Dr. Dawn C. Davis-Reid, PCC, is a Personal & Professional Growth Architect specializing in cognitive-behavior and mental health coaching. As CEO and Founder of Reid Ready®, she combines evidence-based methodologies with culturally responsive approaches to help professionals unlock their full potential.
Want to Learn More?
📞 Schedule a consultation: https://calendly.com/coachdawnreid/30-min-chat
🌐 Visit: www.drdawnreid.com
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🔗 Connect on LinkedIn: @reidreadycoaching or @drdawnreid
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