Most of us have been, or eventually will be, passed over for something. It could be a promotion or raise, academic scholarship or grant, bank loan or financing, new customer or a love interest. No matter what you do, it can---and probably will happen. Being overlooked or passed over feels like shit! It can make you question your self-worth and perceived value. It can feel down-right deflating. But, what I have learned is that experiencing situations where you are passed over can work to your advantage.
Before Miriah Carey was the diva we know and love, she was passed over—at least that is what I understand about her origin story. Her talent was not appreciated – even though she could reach octaves most other singers could only dream about. Even my company, Reid Ready Life Coaching, has been overlooked because we are a small, woman owned/minority owned new business (less than 5 yrs. old). However, me and my team discovered something very healing and motivational about those who underestimate how mighty we are and the great value we offer others. We learned that you can use being passed over or being overlooked to your advantage. Here are my three tips to help you use being overlooked, underestimated, or passed over to your benefit:
Change your perspective. Everything and everyone will not appreciate you. When you are overlooked or passed over, don’t consider this a dismissal of you or a reflection of your value. Use this as an opportunity to define who your brand (personal or professional) is for and fine-tune your behavior, focus, or message so that you can reach those who will appreciate you.
Accept some people will be blind to your greatness. Everyone will not see your greatness or value. Everyone will not have faith in you. Some people will be jealous or have other agendas. Understand when you are overlooked or passed over, it is a benefit to you. You where shown someone else’s hand. You know how they feel. So, now you don’t need to waste energy convincing them how great you are or what you can do. You can focus your energy on appealing to those who value you and who have faith in you. You don’t have to waste your time.
Learn from the experience. Sometimes, no matter how great we think we are, we need to improve in some aspect. If you are overlooked or passed over, evaluate why. Use this as an opportunity to grow, develop, fine-tune, reinvent or get your shit together. Close gaps, change bad habits, or self-improve. Then, try again once you make corrections or develop in the area that caused you to be overlooked or passed over!
It is not a bad thing to be overlooked or passed over. These are teachable moments in life, not the end of the world. More importantly, it is not a reflection of your self-worth. Others who see the real you will know your value. Therefore, use these experiences as a learning opportunity to become stronger, better and faster. Let being overlooked or passed over remind you that you are greatness, even when someone else can’t see it in you.
Coach Dawn helps high-profile public figures, entrepreneurial moms, and boss wives achieve SMART-R™ goals and work-life-self harmony, while growing profitable businesses. She will partner with you so that you can identify how to find solutions and resources to overcome your obstacles. Through Reid Ready Coaching, she also trains aspiring coaches or works with talent management teams on developing core coaching competencies to help prepare them for a rewarding coaching career. To learn more, visit: www.reidreadycoaching.com.